Learn To Be Your Own
by Scrotie McBoogerBalls
Summary: Clary is troubled like most teenagers, she has been through a lot, and tends to hide behind her past. Jace is a loner who prefers solitude, the two mingle and teach one another that there is more than what you see. The Juvenile is sweet, and the dorky geek is the prettiest girl you'll ever see. You don't have to live the stereotype. AU/AH/OOC Rated M for Lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a new Idea I came up with recently. It's a pretty complicated story, and I will warn you that the title may change, I really want a strong title for a story like this, this one is okay, But I am sure I can do better.**

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**Dislcaimer: I do not own Jace, Simon, Clary, Isabelle, Kaelie, or Aline... all of them belong to Cassandra Clare. Only the plot and additional characters are mine.**

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**AU/AH/OOC  
****Rated M.  
Based On True Events...**

The world runs a certain way, it always has. As much as many don't like stereotypes, they exist for a reason. As much as we all don't like reality, it's there and we have to face it. I don't like living the stereotype; I like being a little different. Not because I want to prove a point, or make a stand, but because sometimes it's fun to be a little unique from everyone else. My mother raised me alone; my father is a irresponsible son of a bitch, who, like an asshole, _did_ live the stereotype- of not being a father. That's okay though, my mother and I don't need him, and we never did. We've done just fine on our own. As a matter of fact I still talk to him every once in a while. Rarely. I don't know why I willingly continue to speak with him, but I do. I guess it's because I always hope that anyone can find the inner good inside them, and just do right for once. It's not that I am looking for a father, at this point he could prove to me that is the best man for the job and I still wouldn't consider. It's just better the way it is right now, why change it?

The rest of my family pretty much sucks. My grandparents are selfish, Jesus freaks, my Aunt is such a Jesus freak that she keeps dead fetus' in her freezer… yeah… I am being serious! I wont elaborate on that except that she's fucking crazy, and that's why most of us stay away from her.

When I was little, my mother tried to move us closer to my grandparents, just to be closer to family, and have the support she might need in raising me alone. Well… that worked out great. In case you haven't realized it yet, I was being sarcastic- it didn't. So instead we live back here in New York, which is fine by me. Schools here aren't perfect, however, they are a hell of a lot better than living in lame ass Florida. Unless you have enough money to send your children to a private school, which obviously, my mother did not. Out here my mother was able to achieve a better job, in response send me to a pretty decent school. St. Xavier's has its perks, but all in all it's just another school.

My best friends are Simon, Lucas, and Kaelie. I liked to call us an odd ball of misfits. Not that I don't consider Kaelie or I ugly girls, oh no. Kaelie is the quiet, sweet type. She always tries to see the best in everyone, and is a straight A student. She ran the Student Learning center for tutoring, and helping other students… okay… I'll just say it. She's the Goody-two-shoes of the group. And there's nothing wrong with that. She keeps the rest of us level. She grew up with Lucas, so they've known each other longer than any of us in the group. Lucas, I must say, is the oddest of all of us. He was incredibly good looking, at least to Kaelie and I. He loved sports, mostly baseball, but he doesn't play for any team in school. He says he rather play for fun, rather than for life. So he and I usually will sneak onto the baseball field at night with a couple of other friends and play. It's not easy finding a free field in New York, so we make the best with what we got. Lucas and I can usually have the deepest of conversations. He knows what it is like to grow up with one parent, and not have everything handed to you. I can relate to him the most. Than there's Simon. He and I relate to goofy-geeky things like comic books, movies, and video games. He was tall, thin, and wore thin-rimmed glasses on the bridge of his nose. His hair almost black, and his eyes blue. We usually meet up for Fright Nights- horror films. And Game nights.

No, no one bullies us in school. I don't know what you would assume that. Why? Because it's high school? No, not really. We keep to ourselves, and whoever else does to. Or sometimes we do mingle. The Goth kids will sometimes come smoke with Lucas and I across the street; they're not so bad. And the cheerleaders aren't sluts. As a matter of fact- if anything- they're overly nice. And there's nothing wrong with being nice, but sometimes I tease Kaelie and tell her she should be a cheerleader just because she is so damn sweet. Of course she argues that she would have to put some school aside for practice, I disagree, but oh well. We also have tried to convince Lucas to play ball for a team, and of course, like I already said, he said he rather play for fun.

The only group we stay away from are what we call the "Chippers". It's the kids who walk around with a chip on their shoulder. They think society owes them something because of what they've been through. Get over it, we've all been through hell, and by damn it we deal with it. Isabelle, and Aline Lightwood are the sluts of the school, and they tend to _try_ and hang on Jace Wayland. Who seems to be uninterested. Although I highly doubt he hasn't slept with at least one of them.

I'll never forget the day first day I ever even acknowledge Jace Wayland, the most irritating day of my life. It was Sophomore year in Mr. Richmond's Literature class.

"Okay, so can anyone tell me what they got out of The Old Man and The Sea? I am not going to tell you what you should see, or what is there. The whole point of reading these books is to develop opinions of our own. Wayland! My first question for you is… did you actually read the book?" The entire class giggled. I looked at Jace and watched with astonishment as he grinned. He was basically the bad boy no body touched. Rumors consisted of: he killed someone, he dealt drugs, he was a heart breaker, and all of the above to describe a bad boy. Sometimes I think he lived by the stereotype because he loved the solitude.

"I did read, and let me tell you that I felt the man was insane. Who the hell holds onto a fish for as long as he did?! It's ridiculous." Instantly I raised my hand, Richmond looked over and pointed at me. I looked at Jace, with an angered look on my face.

"Clearly, you missed the point in the entire story. Have you ever been to Cuba? It's not exactly rich. He held on to that fish because it would've fed him for weeks. It's obvious that you have never gone a day in your life starving. It was his determination to finally get food in his stomach that made him hold on to the fish."

"And _clearly_, you don't understand the definition of _Insanity_." Jace smirked across the room. "It means to do the same thing over and over expecting different results." Suddenly Richman lets out a satisfied sound, and encourages Jace to carry on.

"The man was _clearly_, insane. Perhaps driven by starvation, and poverty, as you so innocently put it. It can happen to anyone. _Clearly_, you misunderstood my first statement to be ignorance. It's okay, how often does a Trekkie-Artsy-Geek get to speak out on her behalf? I applaud your intent." This angered me, do I smirked back and said.

"It's alright, I am flattered. I am also applauding you, since when does the Juvenile Delinquent have an education with hearing?" Richmond laughed a head of us. He stood away from his desk and stood in between our line of vision.

"Okay, okay. This wasn't mean to start a riot. However, great! Both of your answers were exactly what I was looking for. I applaud both of you for opening your mouths and participating. Until next time, class dismissed."

I gathered my things, as Lucas snickered beside me. "What!?" I said out of defense.

"You have to admit, it was quite clever." I rolled my eyes and order Lucas to shut up as we exited class, I felt someone behind me, out of instinct I turned and none other was the blonde bad boy directly in front of me with a wicked smirk plastered across his entire face.

"I never knew you had a voice, shorty."

"Don't call me shorty! I have a name!"

"May I guess? Is it Peggy? Pippy? Or is it-"

"It's Clerissa! My name is Clerissa."

"How about Ewok?" I let out a huff and went to turn around when he grabbed my arm and turned me back to face him.

"I just wanted to let you know that _no one_ contradicts me."

"And I'm the first?" I said in fake astonishment. "Wow, do I get an award?" I grinned, his smirk unbelievably became wider.

"Yes you do." And just like that his lips were against mine, not forcibly, but still surprisingly, I pushed away from him, he stumbled back laughing while others stared in shock in the hall. It didn't even take Lucas a second to stand in between the two of us.

"Back off Wayland! Not every girl in this school wants to fuck you! So I suggest you keep your hands to yourself!" Jace only laughed louder.

"Oh I'm sorry, _Scott_. I didn't know this was your girlfriend! Either way why don't you let the lady decide whether or not she wanted it." I took that moment to spit on his shoes, everyone around us laughed. I half expected Jace to be angry, but instead he chuckled.

"I guess that answers my question."

"I guess it does, Wayland." Jace scoffed and passed by us, disappearing into the crowds in the hall. Everyone soon just went back to their own business. Lucas of course asked if I was all right. I was fine, well… maybe far from it. I was confused,

Confused as to why I enjoyed that kiss….


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much you guys. it means a lot. I made a small minor change with this chapter. The character Lucas- his name is now spelt; Lukas. Not to confuse you. I know a friend who spells her son's name like that and I just love it. lol. Also as for Luke GARROWAY. He IS in this story, not to be confused with Lukas. Somtimes Clary does call Lukas, Luke. I hate to confuse you guys but a lot of these OCs are based on real people. So Bare with me. **

**Also I actually EDITED this chapter. lol. I didn't do that with the first one, sorry. :P **

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Jace, Clary, Aline, Isabelle, Luke, Jocelyn, Jordan, Kyle, Eric or Sebastian. They are the works of Cassandra Clare. Only plot and additional characters are mine.**

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**Chap. 2: Don't Judge Me!**

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_11 years earlier_

_Tampa, FL. 1992_

"Ant! Don't do that!"

"But she likes it, watch.."

Thirteen-year-old Anthony, pushed his niece down the stairs while in her stroller. Don't worry, he didn't let go, he never would. He just pushed the stroller down the stairs as little Clary Fray giggled all the way down. "Do it again!" She shouted.

"See?" Anthony was short skinny boy. He kept his pitch-black hair short, and his eyes were as blue as the ocean in front of them. He was a lively boy, very friendly, and loved to have fun. But the most fun he had was with his little niece, who was three years old gigging behind her curls in her stroller. Jocelyn shook her head, and smiled.

"Either way, enough. We need to get to the beach. I want to swim, not watch you play risky games with my baby." She laughed as she gently took the baby from her stroller, Anthony made a sad sound from his throat. Jocelyn was only twenty-four at the time. Her brothers were a good ten years, and 9 months younger. Scott was quieter, and kept to himself, while Anthony was always loud and outgoing.

They weren't really related. Scott and his sister are Anthony and Jocelyn's stepsiblings. Their mother married Jocelyn and Anthony's father a couple of years back.

That day they enjoyed themselves at the beach, while Anthony picked up seashells with his niece. Once upon a time there were good days like this one. Where it was just them, and nothing could tear them apart. Clary always believed that, anyways. However it didn't stay like this. Soon things will fall apart, and never be the same again, and it's something she still tried to deal with till the present day.

**o.0.o**

_Fall 2004_.

"Hey, how was school?" Mom asked me. I usually tell her anything, but when it comes to a boy choosing to just randomly kiss me I hesitate on the subject. My mother is very protective of me in that area, and I can't blame her. So in order to avoid her from thinking I was raped, I just skipped over the kiss, and told her only about Jace Wayland the douche who purposely embarrassing me today. It's not like he really _forced_ himself on me, it was just a kiss, but due to very good reasons, I was afraid my mom would worry. When I was finished telling her the story, she laughed, making me glare at her.

"I'm sorry, but that was pretty clever." I sighed, while rolling my eyes. How come two completely different people in the same day say the same exact thing? She saw my frustrated face and cleared her throat.

"But of course he didn't need to be such an ass to you." She added. I rolled my eyes again, and just shook my head. My mom could be silly at times.

"I'm going to do homework, and then meet up with Luke if that's alright."

"Sure, as long as you're home by 8 to eat dinner, if not call me, and then be home by 10. Understood." I nodded in agreement; she smiled and went back to her reading. My mother always felt that as long as you show the child trust, the child would return it. I think it works just fine between us. During the week my curfew was 10pm, unless I wanted dinner, than it was 8 so I could eat. On the weekends my curfew was 1am, unless I was sleeping over a friend's house. As long as I called, it was fine. I have never disobeyed curfew, skipped school, or anything like that. I usually do what I am told because unlike most kids my age, I have a pretty lose leash. Lukas has a longer leash than usual too, but that's about it of all my friends. Most of them _have_ to be home by 7, no later.

Every once in a while, if I am going to be out later, I notice Jace Wayland out, I don't think he has any curfew. Which is why is falls under the category of "Chipper". He probably doesn't have responsible parents, and has a nasty attitude over it. Or something like that. Then there's Sebastian Verlac, the head of the Basketball team. He was another one who I noticed always seems to be out more than at home. Lukas and I met at the baseball field that night, as usual. With a couple of other friends who would join as well.

There was Eric, Kyle, Jordan and Josh. I have to admit I have a small crush on Josh. He was always so sweet, unlike most guys our age. No offense to Luke, but even he has his typical teenage cocky moments. But Josh was always so humble, and caring to everyone. One time during gym we were playing Hockey, a girl swung her stick and smacked me right on my hand. He wasn't anywhere near me, and still came rushing over to make sure I was all right. For the record I was fine… I only fractured my hand. Haha actually I didn't realize the damage until the next day. The girl was quite apologetic, and my hand was fine so I told her it was okay. The next day I could barely move my fingers, and my hand was purple, blue, and greenish colored. Yeah, it was broken. But cool nonetheless. Josh was tall, built, and had curly dark brown hair. My favorite feature about him was his ears; they stuck out on each side of his head. Sometimes flaws in one's features are the most attractive part.

I mean that.

"He swings, and OH WOW! It's an outfield, Fray is making a speeding run for home, and she goes to slide… OH SHIT IT'S A HOME!"

"Seriously. Eric…" Luke laughed. "I get that you enjoy being our _announcers_ or… whatever, but geez give it a rest will ya?"

"Hey give me a break. I like doin it." Eric smiled, and held a slushy drink to his lips.

"How can you drink that right now?" I say. "It's freezing tonight."

"I have nerves of steel, babe." He chuckled back at me. I just rolled my eyes. Some of the guys can be such dunces, but they're my dunces. I glanced down at my watch it's nearly 7:40pm. My mom planned on making Italian Wedding Soup, one of my favorites, there was no way I was missing that.

"Sorry guys, I have to split."

"Awwww. Whhhyyyy?" One of them said, Not really sure who.

"My mom is making Italian Wedding Soup. I am not gonna miss out on that!" I say.

"OH!" Jordan jumped off the bleachers. "Can I come? I want some!"

"Her mom is the best cook in all of New York!" Eric shouted. "I'm comin too!"

"Noo." I said sadly. They all stopped dead in their tracks, with long sad faces thickly painted onto each and every one of their faces. "Not tonight guys. Just me and my mom."

"Ugh! Fine! I see how it is." Lukas chuckled. "Just kidding." He said while hugging me. "See ya in school." He said, before heading back into the field. I waved bye and was stopped by Josh.

"Need someone to walk you home?" He asked. I wanted to say yes oh so bad. I also didn't want to be eager. So I just shrugged.

"Nah, it's not far. It's not even 8 yet, I'll be okay."

"You sure?" I nodded, while he smiled.

"Hey, this is the first time I have seen you out here at night with us." I say, finally taking a notice. "What are you doing at night that keeps you so busy?"

"I just…" He trailed off, like he was thinking carefully about what to say. "let's just say that I have a lot of responsibilities and tonight was the first night in a long time that I could just hang out."

"Aw, well I hope to see you more often out here with us." I say, not at all sounding like myself. He smiled, and began walking back to the field before turning and saying to me. "Believe it or not, it's a responsibility that I truly love doing, however, yes I love being out here with you guys as well. See ya, Fray." And like that he walked back to our friends. I was beginning to wonder if he liked me, which would be just fine. He's adorable, and very kind. Who wouldn't want to be with Josh Henery?

"Hey, Ewok." I turned swiftly, almost instantly recognizing the voice. Jace Wayland. Leaning against one of the bleachers, almost completely hidden by darkness. I huffed and walked forward, trying to walk _passed_ him.

"What are _you_ doing here?" I ask him; he begins to jog in order to catch up to me. He is wearing a leather jacket, with dark jeans, and casual converses.

"Watching. I usually watch you guys play every time you come here, you're all pretty good."

"Wow." I said. "That's not creepy."

"Are you still sore about our little dispute earlier today?" He asked with a smile in his voice.

"No, of course not! Why would I be?"

"You just seem a little…. Tense." He smirked. I could practically hear it. "Let me help you relax, Ewok." I stop abruptly, and stare at him coldly.

"If you touch me, all I have to do is scream, and those boys will come running and destroy you!" I said in the deadliest voice I could come up with. His eyes widened, and he put to hands up in defense.

"Wow!" He chuckled. "Whose horny? I did not mean it that way at all. This.." He puts his hand in his pocket, and pulls out something I can't quite see. "Is what I meant." He shoves it into my hand, it's a book.

"You read?" I look up at him, and notice a frown.

"Why do you assume I am an uneducated delinquent?" His voice was serious, he was truly insulted not that I cared.

"You just… don't strike me as such." I say simply.

"Well… maybe you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, Ewok." He was still serious, not quite on the angry side, but on the borderline of it. "Take your crush, Josh Henery for example."

"One!" I hold up a finger to his face. "He is not my crush, I do not understand where you make an accusation!" He smiled at me. "Two!... what do you mean?"

"There's a lot more to Henery than you realize." He says quietly. Suddenly something overcomes me and I begin laughing at him.

"I know what this is." I said. "You're mad because I didn't enjoy your kiss earlier, so therefore you are trying to deflate an ego that is not your own." To my disappointment he did not falter. He just grinned widely at me, which made my laughter slow down until it came to a complete stop.

"First; why assume that the things you don't know about your _friend_ are bad things? Second; you basically just admitted to your crush, thank you. Thirdly; I _know_ you enjoyed that kiss." I stared him down, angry that he caught me in a lie, also annoyed that he would assume I liked that kiss. I know I did, yes. But how would he know that one? I pushed him away, I spat on his shoes, how would he even know if I enjoyed the kiss or not?

He walked closer to me, so our faces were only inches apart, I didn't want to move. Partly because I didn't want him to think he intimidated me, the other reason was because this was the first time I had noticed his eyes. They were gold, so gold I couldn't look away. I had never seen anything like it, it was beautiful.

I hadn't even realized that he was kissing me until he pulled away with smug smirk across his face.

"Just because you don't like a person, does not mean that they aren't sexually attractive." And like that he walked away from me, disappearing into the darkness, leaving me dazed and confused.


	3. Chapter 3

**IMPORTANT!: I am updating this without any editing or beta'd, because I hate that it's been so long since I updated. I haven't had the time, and I so miss writing. So for you guys I skipped editing and just posted. I am also mad because I had a bunch of chapters written for all my stories, and I somehow lost them all. I don't know if I forgot to save them, or if I accidentally deleted them, so now I have to rewrite them all. LAME! So anyways, hope you enjoy**

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**Disclaimer: Yeah yeah yeah, I only own the plot, and extra characters not in Cassandra Clare's novels. Blah blah, you get it.**

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**Chap 3: Strung Out**

Clarissa woke up in her bed, the smallest of rays shinning through the pink blinds. She glanced over to the bed across the room from her. Her big sister was still in a deep sleep. Clary gently, and quietly slipped out of her bed, wearing her little pale blue Ariel nightgown. When she exits the hallway, a large pile of sleeping teenage boys piled up in her leaving room. She tipped toed through them to make it to her kitchen, where she grabbed an apple, and a juice box. And on she went back to her room again.

She quietly walked over to her Barbie fun house, and picked up one of her horses. She laid it on its side inside the dollhouse, and took a green crayon and drew an outline of the horse. She then took some yellow tape and wrapped it around the house. The last on her list was a red crayon in which she drew blood around the drawn outline of the horse, and on the walls.

"Okay, Ken." Her tiny voice whispered through the silence, as she picked up her male doll. "You will investigate this murder. It looks as though a burglar broken in, and brutally stabbed, Romeo the horse. It is a tragic death, yes it is. But we must find the perp-" Clary paused trying to pronounce the word. "Perp-ah-trador."

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" Someone shouted from behind her, and pulled her up in the hair. Clary screamed loudly, causing her big sister tore herself from her deep sleep, and dramatically jumped out of her bed. "I will eat you alive!" The man growled from behind her.

"Nooooooo." Clary cried, but yet at the same time was giggling her little face off.

"Jesus, Anthony!" Her big sister whined. "You scared the hell out of me. I thought someone broke in and was trying to kidnap her, for Christ's sake!"

Anthony, now fifteen years old, looked at Janice with his sparkling crystal blue eyes, and laughed. "Sorry," he smirked. "Did we wake you?"

"Oh of course not!" Janice stomped out of the room, and into the bathroom. Anthony turned back to Clary and snuggled her.

"What are you doing little one?" He said while holding her to him. Her red curls flying about her. "There's been a murder." She tried to sound more serious. Anthony laughed.

"A murder? Who died?"

"Romeo…" She said sadly. Anthony looked down and noticed that her toy horse sat on the floor with some missing legs.

"Oh sweetie, I am sorry. We'll go out later and buy another one."

"No." She said sternly. "I am investigating his murder. I will get him!" Anthony chuckled.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah…." She nodded and twisted herself in her arms to point at her little house. "Look!" Anthony looked down and made a noise that was halfway between a snort, a chuckle, and a gasp.

"uhhh…. Josey…" He called her mother. "I think we all know what little Clary will be when she grows up."

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2012

Tears swelled in her eyes as she watched the news on the television. She hugged her pillow closely tight to her chest as if her life depended on it.

_Was this the end_? She thought. Man turn on man, the sea rises, and dies. The moon turns to blood. Was this really it? There was so much she hasn't done yet. No, not explore the world, or meet people. She meant so much that she hasn't fixed, so much people that she needed to talk to.

"I know what you are thinking." The familiar voice said to her. She smiled; the sound of his voice was alone to make her smile. She turned to him, and he kneeled down to her level. "One of the main things I love about you… your thoughts are on others, not yourself."

"Half of New York is gone…" She cried, tears gently fell down her face, dripping off her chin. "Fire Island, Oyster bay, all of it. What if the waters don't recede?" He signed, and hugged her close. "This is our home, I don't want to have to leave." She said into his shoulder.

"No matter what, we'll always be together…" He said….

_We'll always be together…._

How does he know? The real reason why she is upset, is because there are certain people who are not here, and she was afraid that maybe they would never be together again….

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2004

I was so sick of that scumbag kissing me. So he was attractive, and very smart. I get it; I wont sit here and make a million excuses and lies about Jace Wayland. He was the best looking guy at our school.

At least in my opinion.

But that does not mean that I am willing to cross that bridge. He was rude, and obnoxious. I wont be manipulated, or pushed into sex with someone. I rather I be the user, not him. Besides, meaningless sex is not my thing. I like myself a nice respectful guy. Someone the parentals would be _dying_ to marry their daughter. I have a feeling that if I ever brought Jace home, mom would despise him down to every detail from his choice in clothing, down to the tone in his voice.

I walked into my very quiet house; a sense of loneliness overcame me. Where were the boys laying across my floor? Or Janice standing in the kitchen making me macaroni and cheese. No, it was just my mother and I, and the silence was overwhelming.

Until Champ, and Savannah came running up to me, while barking in excitement. I petted, and snuggled the two Labradors, as they greeted me with love of their own. Once they calmed down, I sat at the kitchen table, while my mother was in the kitchen.

"Hey, babe." My mother said, putting a bowl of the soup in front of me.

"Hey."

"You okay?"

"Yeah!" I lied. My thoughts traveled back to Jace, and for some crazy reason it instigated a question from me. "Mom?"

"hm?" She sipped her soup while looking at a magazine.

"What if I bought home me a bad boy?" I snickered. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"As in?" She looked up from under her lashes, with a small grin. "Did someone ask you out today?"

"No!" I reacted a little too quickly. "It's just a-ahh… hypothetical question."

"Usually…" She tried not to laugh. "There is a reason behind a hypothetical question?" I sighed, and rolled my eyes.

"No mom…" I dragged, and eyed her from across the table, trying to tell her to just answer the question. She snickered, and wiped her mouth a napkin.

"Depends on the level of bad boy." She said. "Sometimes, bad boys aren't always…. Well… bad." She said. "Sometimes they use the outer look to keep others away, most of the time it is because of something they have been through. The truth is, is that deep down they have a very deep caring love for those around them. Then you have the bad boys who were neglected, and abused from birth, which usually means they have absolutely no bonding skills. Therefore drugs, breaking the law, sometimes violence play in their everyday nature. So if you bought home somebody who is… basically a sociopath…. I don't think very lightly on it…. No. But the other type wouldn't be as alarming…" I smiled and nodded. "But no this…" She continued. "Remember that you can't always change people Clarissa, if people don't want to change, they wont. You and I know about that all too well, so just remember. Sometimes it's not worth the heartbreak." I looked down at my soup, not wanting to look up at her. My spoon swirled around the chunks of chicken and meatballs.

"You mean dad?" I could practically hear her tense, but not in an uncomfortable way. More in a way of sadness.

"I mean a few people. But yes, dad too." She sighed and took another bite of her soup. "I stopped trying to change your father, when you were born. You were more important. You still are."

o0o

Remember when I said that no one really fucks with anyone in my school, well, I forgot about the usual. Usually there is at least one group. But the funny thing is, everyone seems to be mature enough in my school, to basically make fun of the ones who do bully. I would say that at least 99% of the school body, ignore, and avoid these groups of kids. Which means they're too stupid to realize that they don't have any real friends, because nobody likes them.

I don't care how old you are, once you reach the age of 15, in my opinion picking on a kid with Down syndrome means that you have no soul. And I am only being lenient about the age.

It's rare when they do actually try and pick a fight, but someone always makes them feel stupid. Usually that is me. But not this time. I was shocked….

"Hey kid!" One of them shouted. "Did you know your eyes are too far apart?"

"L-leave m-me alone!" The poor boy stuttered.

"Leave me alone" They all mimicked him, while cornering him against the lockers. I was on my way to kick their ass, when someone else pulled on one of the kids' heads. It was Jace Wayland.

"What kind of fucking person are you!?" Jace said through gritted teeth.

"Hey man, back off!" One of them said.

"Why should I?" Jace said back. "Are you three that fucking pathetic that you have to pick on someone less fortunate?" He let the kid go. "What is your fucking cocks too small to fuck anyone? Because I am sure this kid's dick is a helleva lot bigger than any of yours."

"Hey fuck you man!"

"Really? I have most of the girls here, what is your number?" Jace faked a gasp, and held up his hand, circling his fingers "ZERO fuckers!" Jace then turned to Taylor Juviani, and laughed. "You know what Sarah Williams told me about your cock?" He held up a pinky. "Pencil dick."

"Shut up! She didn't say that." He shouted.

"You're reaction just proved it, buddy." At this point at had gone to comfort Scotty, who was rubbing his eyes, and trying not to cry. I held him close, and watched as Jace humiliated the boys. Others laughed, and scolded until they finally sulked away. Jace then looked at me, and came walking over.

"Is he okay?"

"Uh… yeah." I said, a little lost for words. "His feelings are a little hurt, but I think he'll be fine."

"Hey," Jace said to him. "You need to go to the office?" He nodded, and we both walked him there in silence. Once we were there, the nurse took him in. There was nothing really wrong with him, but as a precaution she took him into her office. The Principle thanked us both, and said that they'd be calling his parents, and maybe he'd be going home early. Due to our heroic behavior the both of us got an extra off period.

We left the office, but I was still baffled by Jace. I looked at him sideways, and of course he looked at me with both eyebrows standing up.

"Can I help you?"

"Since when are you heroic?" I asked.

"Ah, Ewok. Don't ever judge a book by its cover." I chuckled at him.

"I guess the fact that you've been with nearly every girl in the school came in handy, huh?" Jace shrugged, and smirked.

"I exaggerated a bit back there."

"A bit?" I said trying not to laugh. "How much is 'a bit'?"

"Probably about half." He chuckled.

"I figured." I went to walk away, but he stopped me. "What are you going to do for this period?" He asked. I turned around and shrugged.

"Probably study."

"That's it? You don't want to hang out with me?"

I don't know what made me decide to go with him. I know what you are already thinking: because he's good looking. NO seriously, the truth is I don't care how good looking a guy is. I don't usually do this. But something made me say yes. My intuition, a guardian Angel? I don't know, but I did.

I followed Jace to the park that was a couple of blocks from the school. It was quiet, no one around, and it was kind of nice having it to ourselves. It wasn't too cold, it was actually decent weather. The trees were slowly beginning to change color, and the grass was somehow still green.

Jace chose a place atop a hill, I sat down beside him. I still have my books tightly in my arms, as I scan the entire park with my eyes. Basically trying not to look at Jace.

"Do you mind?" I heard him say, I spun my head quickly, thinking he was being rude. But I saw him holding a joint in his hand, with a very sincere look on his face.

"If you are uncomfortable with me smoking, I wont smoke it." He said, his voice incredibly steady. I smiled weakly and shook my head. He snorted.

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"It's a 'I don't mind'" I laughed. He smirked and bought the joint to his lips, he dug through his black jacket, and pulled out a black cheap lighter. He ignited it against his joint and took a deep inhale. I have never smoked before, and I won't lie. I have always wanted to try it. I stared at Jace, while he took hits and held in the smoke. It took him a little bit to notice that I was staring.

"I wont smoke it, if it's making you that curious." He said, looking unsure.

"No, I have always…." I stumbled over my words. "I have always wanted to try it." Jace looked between me, and his hand. Not looking too confident in handing me a joint.

"Jace, you aren't forcing me to do anything, I promise!" I said, while sitting up on my knees and dropping my books on the grass. "I have always wanted to know what it was like, but I don't have friends who smoke, or sell it, and…." I stopped myself. I knew if I told him the next part he wouldn't feel comfortable sharing with me at all.

"And…?" Dammit, he caught on.

"And I was always afraid, my mom would find out." It was somewhat the truth. He looked down between his legs, which were bent at the knees. Than back at me.

"You have a mom that cares about you enough to be disappointed, than I suggest you care enough to _not_ disappoint her." I was shocked. I never knew this side of him…. Ever! He was thoughtful, considerate, and sincere. I did not know how else to respond.

"She wouldn't… be _that_ upset. Besides…. It's my choice." Jace stared at me, his face unreadable. It seemed to be forever, before he finally said anything.

"Okay," He shrugged, and handed me the joint. "When you inhale, hold it in."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"After inhaling the smoke, hold your breath for a couple of seconds, than let it out. Sometimes you may have to hold your nose." He chuckled at the last part. "You may look funny while doing it, but it helps the hi."

"Why would I need to hold my nose?" I laughed.

"Sometimes the smoke escapes out your nostrils." I nodded, and took the joint from him. When I inhaled the smoke, it felt like someone took a mini vacuum into my mouth and throat, and sucked out every single drop of saliva. I coughed and gagged, trying to regain the moisture inside my throat. I brought my hand up, to wrap around it, almost as if it would cradle it back to life. Jace laughed lightly beside me.

"Yeah, Marijuana tends to give you severe cotton mouth." He laughed, and took the joint from me. "Also I should've told you not to inhale so deep. That makes it worse." He handed the joint back to me without taking another hit. "Try again, but this time not so fast, and not so deep. And remember to hold it in." I nodded and did as he said. I still felt the feeling of a hot desert inside my throat, but I fought against it, and held my breath. I handed Jace back the joint, but he didn't take another hit. He watched me for about two seconds.

"You can release now." He said. I let go, and I felt a wave of lightness overtake me. Not light headed, not exactly like that. When you feel light headed, it's usually an uncomfortable feeling. No I felt just… light. Somewhat like floating. I smiled at the sensation. Jace smirked and handed me back the joint.

"Good girl. One more hit, and it'll be my turn." He said. I nodded and did it again. This time he pulled out a water bottle from inside his coat pocket. "Here, this usually helps." I took the water and drank; God did the cool, moisture feel good going down my throat.

It wasn't long before I was laughing, for no particular reason at all. I let my eyes wonder as I laid flat on my back. The sky was so blue, the birds were chirping so loud. The wind sounded like a lullaby. Jace laughed next to me. Nothing at all really making us laugh. I just felt extremely happy, and relaxed.

"I never knew you to be so nice." I giggled.

"I already told you." He said. "_Never_ judge a book by its cover."

"Aint that right." I laughed. "I thought you hated me, though." Jace laughed even louder.

"Me? Hate you? Hell no!"

"Why?" I turned my head to face him.

"I like me a feisty girl. I think it's hot."

"Hey now, mister." I sat up and pointed a finger at him. "I am _not_ that kind of girl." He was sill lying on his back, when he smiled back at me. Not a cocky smirk, but a real smile.

"I know." He said. "That's why I like you."

_Like me?_

_As in…?_

I decided not to push the subject. I just giggled, and lay back down on the soft grass. My, was the grass so soft. I never felt anything so soft in my life. I rubbed my hands over it, and snuggled deeper into it.

"HA HA!" He laughed so loud, that he startled me. "You are so freaking stoned."

"I misjudged you." I said. "I like you too."

"Yeah?" Jace turned to smile at me. "Good. I guess we're bros now?"

"Bros?" I laughed. "I am a chick, dude."

"Yeah but, you cooler than a chick friend, so you're a bro." He said. I laughed.

"I think you are just stoned." I said.

"Yeah."

Now we were quiet, and I could've fallen asleep right there, but then something rose up inside my head. Something Jace said.

"Jace…?"

"Hm…"

"You told me not to smoke, because my mom would be disappointed. What about you? Wouldn't your parents be disappointed?" He was quiet, dead quiet. I started to think I had stepped outside my bounds. I almost immediately started to apologize for being nosy, and butting into his business. But he finally said something.

"My mother…." He paused, or got quiet, hesitated. I don't know, but the point is, he froze for a moment. Too long of a moment, one to make me uncomfortable. "She would be disappointed."

"Than why do you do it?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Because I need the escape. Even if it's only for a little bit." His voice was so quiet, and calm. I wasn't sure if it was because he was sad, or unfeeling.

"Escape from what?"

"Now you have over stepped your bounds." He said. That freaked me out; it was like he read my mind. I sat up, as he looked at me, and started to apologize repeatedly. Before he started to smile.

"It's okay." He sighed. "You're only curious. It's normal. I'll tell you one day, but not today. Okay?" I nodded, accepting his silence.

o0o

One Week later

Never did I imagine that I would become friends with Jace Wayland. I have to admit, I was completely wrong about him. We didn't exactly hang out at school though. For some reason I found no obligation to inform Lucas, or Simon that Jace and I would hang out from time to time, get hi, drink, or just talk. I liked talking to him, it turns out that we have more in common than anyone could assume. We didn't talk about life stories. That was the interesting part.

"Do you think two people can get together, without knowing each other's life stories?" I asked him.

"Sure…"

"But…" I pondered this. "Isn't who you were, a part of who you are?" Jace became quiet, his brows furrowing together. He was thinking it through. Trying to come up with an intelligent answer. Not that it should be too hard for him.

"I think that… I don't care what you may have done, or who you might've been. All that matters is the better person you are trying to be."

He was right, but I still could not help but feel that anything that happens in your life is always going to be important.

"Clary!" Josh knocked me out of my thoughts, my head even spun from the interruption.

"Shit, I am sorry Clare. I didn't mean to startle you." Jace's words about him came rushing back to me. I eyed Jace past his shoulder; he was running pacers back and forth across the court. I hated Gym, not because of working out, but the teacher was such a bitch. She seemed to assume that all of us girls were prissy little bitches. Even Isabelle Lightwood pulled her weight in this class. I didn't understand the woman's discriminative behavior.

"It's okay, Josh." I was just thinking.

"You look tired." He said, sitting down next to me, while waiting for our turn to run.

"I am," I said in a yawn. "Couldn't sleep last night." I said.

"Really?" He was breathing heavy from the running. His white shirt clung to his chest from the sweat. And his hair sling to his forehead. "How come?"

"Kept having nightmares." I was hoping he wouldn't expect me to elaborate. I have been having these terrifying nightmares for weeks now. I didn't really want to talk about it.

"I'm sorry." I think the sound of my voice told him as much, so he didn't push the subject. "So…." He said awkwardly. It made me giggle. "I was wondering if… you wanted to do something this weekend." I felt fuzzy inside. I have always had a crush on Josh. He was cute, but mostly sweet. But still I couldn't help my eyes wondering to Jace, who had looked over at us. If I wasn't mistaken he looked a little sad. But as fast as I noticed, he wiped it away, and smiled at me. A genuine smile that I loved getting from him, just because I seemed to be the only one he showed it to.

"I definitely would love that, Joshua." I smiled brightly. He did the same, and nodded.

"Well… I guess I'll be calling you tonight, to make plans then?"

"You bet!"

* * *

**Once again, I am sorry, this isn't best written, but I am happy with the chapter nonetheless. It helps move the story is along.**

**So...**

**What is Joshua's secret?**

**What is JACE'S secret?**

**What is Clary's? **

**Hmmm... well... Clary's is a tad more clearer since I give you guys past memories from her... but not enough... hehe**

**Good?**

**Bad?**

**Terrible?**

**So-So?**

**Ehhh? Minus the grammar, and spelling. LOL**


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